I was observing some stubbornness in a friend — and, when I notice some undesirable behavior in another person, I’ve learned that it is often a reflection of something that I’m doing (or have done), and the best way to deal with the friend is to first understand myself… which got me to thinking about my own stubbornness.
Other perspectives expand understanding.
Why would I be stubborn when offered a solution to a problem or a better way to do something?
The revelation struck me that perhaps I simply have a problem discerning who I can really trust to help me. I’m holding back (being stubborn) because I either don’t trust them or I don’t trust that they are offering me something better.
How can I tell?
What signs should I look for?
One positive telltale sign of a person to trust — s/he will tell you the truth regardless of what you really want to hear.
The next thing to look for is their attitude… the feeling you get as they talk to you… are they speaking with genuine understanding and care? I can feel it when a salesperson just wants to make commission! (A profit is OK, IF they first want to help me.)
Another positive aspect to look for is simply a different perspective…
A new perspective may add a new aspect of what you’re looking for.
For example, from the “5 Blind Men and the Elephant” story, if I’ve got the elephant by the trunk and they have a leg — it adds to my perception of an elephant as a whole. Or, from their vantage point, maybe they see the entire elephant. So it’s useful to consider that input.
Also I am more apt to listen if they’ve proven that they’ve been right a few times in the past… and they didn’t say to me “I told you so!”
Look for these key ingredients in the people around you and in the new ones you meet, and you’ll soon figure out who you can trust.
How about stubbornness in other people when I’m doing my best to help them?
So here is my opportunity to seek the reflection of my own stubbornness…
I must reflect on this so that my communication permits that person to listen to what I am saying.
So, the recipe for getting past our own stubbornnessis remember what it takes to be able to trust someone… and trust their sincere desire to help you. Don’t we want to be a friend / coach to trust?
Lesson learned: To get past our own “what’s in this for me” so that we can be valued as sincere and trustworthy.
I‘ve been helping entrepreneurs and business owners like you for more than 40 years — mostly from within our Business Power Tools software apps and templates, and thru my blogs and book, "Business Black Belt."
My “Hero’s Journey” started In the early ’80s, I was the electronics buyer and a copywriter for the Sharper Image catalog. Later, I also sold some really cool word-processors in Silicon Valley. After Macs and PCs became popular, I started my own business creating sales literature for tech companies.
A friend had a deal going to sell his engineering software to Apple. They wanted to see his business plan to be sure his company would stay in business to provide future upgrades and support. At the time, I viewed a business plan as an elaborate brochure that sold his concept to people at all levels, and responsibilities with various perceptions, biases, and interests. (I learned that from selling word-processors.)
We got the deal.
Over the next year, people came to me with some brilliant ideas, but their plans weren’t getting funded. I helped them fill in the missing parts to succeed. Along the way, I saw that business plans have a fundamentally universal structure. Hmmm…
What if I took all the content I’d developed, redacted everything proprietary, but filled in the blanks with a variety of customizable multiple-choice options, and offered it as a software template that many people could use?
This became BizPlanBuilder, the first of its kind, and my new company took off!
Inspired to help others build businesses that would make our world a better place, we became our own Guinea pigs seeking to remove as many common mistakes and as much unnecessary BS as possible, and crafted tools for others building businesses to make our world a better place.
We followed-up with MarketingBuilder, which picked-up where BizPlanBuilder left off, then we went even further with PRBuilder which included sample press release templates… In another direction, we added EmployeeManualBuilder and SafetyPlanBuilder full of actual policies and procedures.
Altogether, we had 10 products in about 3,500 retail stores and built a $12 million company with 30 employees…
Today, all of our products have been integrated into a streamlined online toolbox/dashboard. And we’re the leader in business development software templates that help you build your business.
And I like dogs, walking on the beach at sunset, candlelight dinners, and red wine...
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